Help! How can I pull a sickie for tommorow?

I REALLY BADLY DESPERATELY need to stay off school tommorow! I know I'm probably gonna come across as some pathetic wimp who can't face school but all you people who have been to highschool should know where I'm coming from with this! I had to memorise a 400 word essay in french during the 1 week holiday and I haven't got anything because my dog died on the 3rd day and I've been seriously depressed. You can understand that right? Yeah. But my teacher won't! If I turn up tomorrow and write a bunch of crap she will drag me into the seventh circle of hell! I'm sooo scared of her and if she starts yelling at me I know I'll start crying in front of the whole class (I know I'm pathetic right?) But I just can't help it, I have an issue with ugly people screaming in my face. ANYWAY I'm rubbish at pulling sickies, my mum knows when I'm faking. So if anyone is an expert on skiving school pleaaaase give me some instructions.